Article & video by Melodie Yvonne
INDIANAPOLIS, IN (April 4, 2021) – The following video includes a short talk with Melodie Yvonne about her experience with the loss of a friend’s child as well as learning acceptance & healing from trauma.
I want to say just a few words about what happened to my goddaughter because I’ve shown so much about myself by publishing my new book, I Do Heroin On The Train Line So You Don’t Have To: A Hitchhiker’s Guide To My Galaxie, but this incident isn’t included because this story isn’t mine as much to tell. The short of it is that my goddaughter was murdered at 2 1/2 years old, and buried in her Easter dress. The gentleman that did it was not a stranger, but someone very close to the family. March 21 was the 20 year anniversary of her death, and the gentleman that did it got released from prison 10 days later. He is now free.
I’m sharing this story now for two reasons. One, because a lot of you have messaged me, and shared your stories with me, and there’s a common thing that runs throughout. That common element that we all have is that generally if there’s been one traumatizing thing that’s happened there’s probably been multiple traumatizing things that have happened. And it’s not always about things that have happened specifically to a person physically.
Sometimes people are traumatized by the things that happened to the people around them that they love. Yes, I’ve talked about many things that happened to me in this book, but there are also all of the bad things that happened to the people I love that I don’t always mention, but that affected me. Deaths due to overdose and violence, addictions, and even natural disasters that affected my friends and family all because of the area that we were unlucky enough to live in. Things that were nobody’s fault.
Trauma can come from many different sources, and it’s important to understand that when someone is trying to heal. No matter how many things they’re having to get over or how many bad stories they tell you about themselves or where they came from it’s all the past. You have to be compassionate and non-judgmental to help someone else along the path of accepting themselves.
The second reason I’m bringing my story up is because I want to talk about forgiveness. It took me years to forgive the friend that did this. It took me years to understand that the guy I had known for years that murdered this innocent little baby didn’t do it himself. It was meth that did it.
There are some days that I don’t know if I have forgiven him, and I still have a hard time trusting people. And she was just my goddaughter. I can’t imagine if this had happened to my daughter. I can’t even begin to imagine the thoughts that live in my best friend’s head every day. As I sit here and cry some days I try to make myself stop because I can’t even imagine how his freedom feels to her.
So I guess in summary, if you want to help somebody get better you have to be kind and be prepared. If someone trusts you enough to open up to you the. Never judge them no matter what they say. Understand that the past is the past, and try really hard not to make that astounded judgmental face while they’re talking even though you probably don’t mean it.
And if you’re somebody that’s suffering from a whole butt ton of things and trying to get better please understand that a lot of people are there with you. I’m there with you. I’ve seen the icky faces of people that I’ve tried to open up to. I’ve been hurt by people that walked away because it’s just too much. Because I’m too much. But it gets better I promise. Don’t ever give up trying to open up. Bad things that happened to you do not make you a bad person, and if somebody’s meant to be in your life they will understand that.
It is not your fault if someone else is not strong enough to understand you. Don’t ever stop trying to be better and heal because eventually you will find the friends and family that will be there for you for real. And it’s true… families aren’t something that you’re born into. They’re something that you make from the people that truly love you that you meet along the way. So, never give up ❤
Check out video highlights from A Night with Melodie-Book Release & Self Care Night at Carnahan Hall below
View more of Melodie’s concert and event photography at melodieyvonne.com/photo-galleries/concert-and-events/
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